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I Wish You Love, No Valentine


When I listen to someone tell the tale of their latest “boo thang,” and how in love they are, I’m happy for them. But not nearly as happy as they want me to be. If people valued honesty, I’d tell every one of you I don’t care at all who your valentine is.

Again, I want you to be happy.

I hope everyone finds someone who contributes to their happiness more than they take away from it. But, finding someone who makes you happy? I don’t wish that for you.

We parade around as if having someone to love will complete the picture of our lives. That, that one great romance will fill all our missing pieces. Romance is many things, but a remedy it is not.

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Dear Red Ones,

February is here! 2013 is not playing around. 31 cold January days haven’t changed my mind about this year. There are great things in store. 

I have to admit, toward the end of last month, I had to put my mantras, scriptures, and inspirational quotes to the left and keep it all the way real: Life sucks (sometimes). This thing is hard! And this coming from a First World girl.

Every moment is a choice between settling for less and being all you can be. Think about that. That’s a LOT of choices to make. On top of that, the decisions often aren’t easy ones. I try to empower and inspire myself, my loved ones, and my readers. But sometimes you just have to acknowledge the struggle.

You can’t wallow in it, though. I know too well how painfully good it can feel to wrap yourself in blankets, Oreos within arms reach, Sade playing in the background, and just sit with your sorrow. But, it’s a waste. You’re supposed to struggle. There’s no point in asking the universe, why me?

"A pearl is a beautiful thing that is produced by an injured life. It is the tear [that results] from the injury of the oyster. The treasure of our being in this world is also produced by an injured life. If we had not been wounded, if we had not been injured, then we will not produce the pearl."

-       Stephan Hoeller

Whether you’re destined to be a fisherman or a football player, you aren’t born at the height of your ability. Life is a training ground. The sharpening of a blade; dragging us through rough places, perfecting us for the task we were created for.

So, the word of the month is: endure. As the luster of a new year loses its shine, keep your eyes on the prize you are chasing. (If you don’t have a prize, I suggest you get one – otherwise what are you here for?)

Fiercely Yours,


Want to meet the girl behind the blog? Hi, I’m C. And this is my face fighting an anxiety attack on The Red Read’s new YouTube channel.

…Far beyond feeling good, a micro-moment of love, like other positive emotions, literally changes your mind. It expands your awareness of your surroundings, even your sense of self. The boundaries between you and not-you — what lies beyond your skin — relax and become more permeable. While infused with love you see fewer distinctions between you and others. Indeed, your ability to see others — really see them, wholeheartedly — springs open. Love can even give you a palpable sense of oneness and connection, a transcendence that makes you feel part of something far larger than yourself.
- The Science of Love: How Positivity Resonance Shapes the Way We Connect